This one is gonna get deep.
Fear. The one thing that we all have but deny because it makes you seem weak. The crazy thing about fear is that no matter how brave and strong a person portrays themselves, I can GUARENTEE that that person has something they fear that dictates decisions in their life. So why is it that we feel as though our fear is so different and should be hidden at all cost? Why are we so self-conscious about how fear makes us look to others?
Let’s rewind a little bit.
Ever since you were young you were probably taught that fear is a negative emotion (which it is), and should be avoided at all cost. The problem with this philosophy is that we were conditioned to run away from fear and not walk through it. Hear me out.
When fear arises as an emotion for many of us it is accompanied with a feeling of embarrassment. Whether it was you being scared to jump in the deep end of the pool, wearing clothes that were different than everybody else, or being scared to hang out with the nerds at our lunch tables — we were all scared to be made fun of as kids. This subsequently creates a feeling of being fear adverse. Or in other words, we try and stay away from things that bring this feeling of fear upon us.
These small instances of fear manifest later on in our lives in different forms. While we still may be scared of jumping in the deep end of a pool and still run up to our rooms after we turn off the lights in the living room, fear can creep into areas that can have major implications on who we are as people. Some examples of this can be the fear of trusting people, fear of being who you truly are, or even being intimidated of the realities of life, fear has a place in all of our lives.
SOOO.. How do we fix it?
One thing I want to make absolutely clear is that fear will never totally leave your life. I’m sorry I just killed your dreams. Yes, you can certainly become a more confident person, but this is because you have learned to equip yourself with the necessary tools to walk through your fears. The first and most important of these tools being perception.
What your perception allows you to do is change the feeling of fear from an obstacle, to an opportunity. Sometimes we fail to realize that our greatest accomplishments came directly after some of the most difficult times in our lives. So instead of having fear and freezing up, own the feeling and know from the bottom of your heart that there is something on the other side that is amazing, because there is. Let that fear be a signal that it is time to grow.
On the real, this topic is probably one of the most influential topics in my life. Not because I have learned how to properly combat fear, but because I look back on so many of the things that fear has blocked me from experiencing. Physical fear is not something that regularly I felt, I was taught my whole life how to be a tough guy and earn respect. Yet it was the emotional fear that has, and still has a big footprint on my life. I have spent years and years afraid of trusting people, making friends, and even committing to relationships. Probably the most harmful thing that fear does to us is it blocks us from experiencing the most important emotion of them all.. Love. It feels weird to even mention that word because I have had a fear of opening up on topics like this. Love is the total opposite of fear, and to feel more of one you have to mitigate the other.
Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
So, let’s start knocking these fears out. But, before you go about and start knocking down your fears one by one, I first challenge you to be honest with yourself. Take some time and really think about fears that may have a stronghold on your life and think about they have affected who you are. This will allow you to focus on what actually matters.
Then after a little bit of soul searchin’ lets rock and do this. Cause the only ones that won’t conquer fears are those too scared to try.